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  • Joey Kendal Brown

THE CRAZY THINGS YOU DO AS A PARENT


It only dawned on me recently, that since becoming a parent, the germaphobe in me has taken a vacation in place of a butt sniffing, dummy sucking, snot wiping, mad woman. Yes, thats just a few of the crazy things you do as a parent.


I'm sure this doesn't apply to all parents, just the ones that are trying to get by, doing the best darn job they can. Pre Knox, you'd find me gagging at the site of snot, food on the floor, or even contemplating cleaning anything poop related. How did I change over night? The only remotely sane thing I can think of, is that you will quite literally do anything for your child. So, here is my list of the crazy things, Andy and I can be found doing on a daily. In no particular order of course.


1. Sniffing their butt...


I'm rather obsessed with making sure Knox never sits in a dirty nappy, so numerous times a day, you'll find my chasing him around whilst sniffing his bottom. Can you imagine, if this is something we did to each other as adults. People would think we were barking mad, possibly because the only other things you see sniffing each others butts..are animals.


2. Examining the poop


Like tea leaves, a babies poop can say a lot. I wouldn't say I'm obsessed with studying it, but 9 times out of 10, I most definitely take a peek to make sure everything is on track.


3. Sucking every dummy dropped


So, I know the 3 second rule and everything, but I've never actually believed it. Until now that is. As you relax as a parent, usually a few months down the line, when your child literally picks everything/anything up and puts it in their mouth, you start to forget your sterilising wipes on your trips out. This of course makes for a sticky situation when your baby ejects their dummy mid tantrum or in favour of anything they've found. Thus forcing you to have no other choice than to pick up and suck the invaluable dummy before returning it to your child. GROSS, I know. But, why do we all do it? I'd never dream of picking up and sucking something off the floor that has been walked on with thousands of grubby feet.


4. Bathing in their pee


Now, I've only knowingly seen Knox pee in the bath once (he was standing), but I know peeing in the bath and pools is meant to be a given for any baby. And yet, I have I found myself choosing to turn a blind eye in favour of saving time...and water.


5. Wiping snot with your t-shirt


I'd always said, I'd never have a snotty baby but, unfortunately the reality is that every baby is snotty from time to time. Unfortunately I've fallen into the category of those that wipe away snot with their t-shirt. That being said, I generally wear Andy's clothes...Oops!


I'm sure there are many more stomach-churning habits that will reveal themselves as we continue down the road of parenthood, but for now, this is my limit. Don't judge. x